brexit as bereavement

I’ve been trying to find the correct word to describe my feelings about England since the Brexit vote and I think I finally think I know what is - bereavement! My sense of despair, delusion and frustration feels like someone very dear to me has died (or is dying)… 

This realisation came up suddenly after behaving appallingly with a neighbour,, when we met for coffee so that I could give her a little Christmas present… For some reason, the old ‘keep calm and carry on’ attitude drives me round the bend because it IS part of the problem. Apathy and helplessness stemming from knowing one’s place in a national narrative that ii is what it is… keep your head down and do as you’re told is such a typically English malaise that has allowed a very small proportion of society to rule the vast majority since 1066, when the Normans implanted French Aristocracy to manage the land and population, always giving them just enough rights to make them feel free, while, in fact, keeping them in a state of semi slavery, waving flags and buying royal memorabilia. There is no spirit of revolution or rebellion, instead, you have the most sophisticated, darkest, sense of humour that expresses rebellion through jokes and ridicule… it’s cute, clever, civilised but it is infuriating too because it lets the ruling cliques to get away with murder.

I do believe that things will eventually get better and the the sensible England that I love and accept as mine will return but the self inflicted harm is going to continue to cause serious problems for everyone living in my beautiful adopted country.. .. until then this awful sense of bereavement and sorrow will continue to drive me mad until I leave… this feeling that I am losing a country again is unbearable.., 

Now I need to apologise to my neighbour properly because I acted like complete prick!!