THE london, as I call it. there is no place like it… i am lucky to have lived here longer than anywhere else.
sillybuggery is the only way to lifev in a great capital city of a country that’s gone mad.
greatest city on earth
Only Constantinople can compete
A city that grew largely unplanned over the centuries from an outpost of the Roman Empire to a unique metropolis of eight million people from literally every corner of the world. I don't know anywhere else where every postcode seems to have its own identity yet they may look identical to a fresh visitor. Bricks, sash windows, chimneys, railings, brightly coloured doors in rows and rows of Victorian terraces built of the same type of brick - the London stock. Kinda brownish/yellow.... as if the doors are only things that can show some individuality in these monochrome streets! They are anything BUT monochrome. They all have their quirks if you look closer as each generation added bits and bobs to these houses. Especially at the back... best way to see this is from a raised train line that runs at the back of a terraced street!! You will be amazed to see extensions of all kinds. Each madder than the other.
Then you have the High Street with all the usual suspects; it's not about the butcher, the baker and the candle maker anymore, it's about Asda, Greggs, PaddyPower, Peacocks, ubiquitous nail bars and shops selling hair products of the wildest sorts. However, the real star is the pub. There simply must be a pub in every high street.. though in decline, pubs are still the most identifiable drinking institutions in the UK. So when people say London is not England, don't believe it - there is plenty of England in its capital city. A good local pub beats all fanciful bars and roof terraces in the West End and the City.
Culture is London's biggest export. Forget about the stockbrokers... there is so much creativity in this city that to overtake bankers manifold. Art, in all its forms is everywhere. There is something for everyone. And there is fashion too. Londoners look so unique because individuality is everything. Londoners usually don't care what people think - you wear what you like. Simple.
It is expensive beyond reason and it can be dirty in some areas or days. Comfort and security is not our thing. Fun is. Plenty of it.. Hedonism is the wheel that gets everything moving. You simply have to join the mad hatters and hope for the best.
Advice: don't take your credit card with you. It is NOT real money.
I could write a book about London but I won't. You have to experience it, not read about it. ;)
signed poster by Jeremy Deller
londinium vita est
londoners
Are fun, crazy, independent, openminded, multilayered, promiscuous, flirty, multicultural, multi everything… often suspicious but always polite. Queuing is king as is holding the door for the next person behind. Wearing glasses on the tube so that they can check each other out; otherwise looking at people on the tube is a no no … no one knows why exactly but that’s how it is..
All put aside, Londoners are the craziest party goers.. it’s a religion I’m some ways. Clubs, bars, bubs, theatres, skateboarding parks, tunnels, empty warehouses, galleries, South Bank… they are all full of people who want to have fun and feel free to do whatever they like … no one judges anyone; on the contrary, the wackier you are the better chances you’ll have to be be accepted.. being boring is the biggest crime, even worse than jumping the queue.. Apparently, the eels in the Thames have become much more restless due to the fact that Londoners flush 37 kilos of coke down the toilet every day!! (Having gone through the kidneys) … London is also very expensive, which is a shame but we can’t have everything.
green park tube station during locdown - collage
what is an eggslut?
londoners are mad, flaky, disoriented, distracted, kind, aloof, suspicious, eager, open, interested, multicultural gender benders but never boring. you can be whoever you want to be … we get along fine.
london’s dark side
is its status as the money laundering capital of the world. gis your money. No questions asked. no EU either to ask silly questions!
Unfortunately, London attracts enormous amounts of dirty cash from all over the world. The UK government is fully aware of this but it turns a blind eye because it takes a cut from every property sale called Stamp Duty. Simple. Hard core Brexiteers have no shame in this and love the fact that there won’t be any uncomfortable questions being asked by EU anymore., The Tories are rotten to the bone and will allow this plunder from some of the poorest countries to get to the island that cannot feed itself.
The Tories, being a Mafiaesque organisation themselves, will never stop this kind of behaviour because they get a cut in one way or another. Corruption in UK is very sophisticated and can be done completely legally under a veneer of respectability…
however…..
Don’t let this you put you off. Most Londoners aren’t involved in money laundering or do they benefit from this international mafia operating in our city… You will find that most Londoners disagree with this class of shadowy figures but are powerless to do do anythig but this doesn’t stop us from partying like nowhere else in the world. Apart from great pubs, clubs restaurants, cafés, we have great art, museums, galleries, sport events, music events, anything cultural you can think of…. Pretty much. The only thing I wasn’t able to find was a choir specialising In Byzantine music, which IS v nichy, I admit.
lockdown(s) - the strangest thing i've ever experienced but, strangely, it didn't bother me. i even secretly enjoyed cycling and walking through the empty streets. i was deluded enough to think that covid will force humanity to change, that it would undermine capitalism but we can all see I hoped too much ... hmm
south bank centre
sadly, the coach and horses has become just another chain… norman was a symbol of what london was .., long nights in the coach over a stretch of more than 20 years will for ever stay in my memory
